Sister Heart Read online

A hand grabs me

  Makes me stand

  A hurried voice says

  Thank you, Reverend Dale

  I’ll take charge of the girl now

  two

  I’m taken

  to a government place

  given

  to a government man

  sitting

  in a government chair

  hard eyes staring

  Hmm, you’re a thin little thing

  Well now

  let me see

  what Reverend Dale has written

  He gazes at a paper

  Ah yes

  the Reverend has given you

  the name of Anne

  He glances up

  What about Annie, instead?

  He waits

  Not talking, Annie?

  He glances again at the paper

  You spoke English on the station

  It won’t be long

  before you are talking

  to the other children

  Go along with Nurse

  make some new friends

  this is your home now

  My hands squeeze into fists

  This

  is

  not

  my

  home

  Outside

  kids rush me

  like a noisy flock of galahs

  New girl, new girl!

  What your name?

  Where you from?

  Who your family?

  Nor’wester or sou’wester?

  A girl with light eyes

  and sun-bright hair

  pushes through and yells

  Go away, you mob!

  Can’t ya see she’s scared?

  Clang! Clang! Clang!

  I jump in fright

  Everyone scatters

  except the sun-bright girl

  She giggles

  That’s the bell

  callin’ us to eat!

  Bet you a nor’wester, huh?

  Sun cooked you up real good!

  I’m a sou’wester

  but we can be friends

  She grabs my hand

  I’m Janey!

  Fingers press a message

  into my palm – friend

  I don’t know her

  She’s not my family

  How can she be my friend?

  You hungry, new girl?

  Janey yanks my arm

  pulls me with her

  We gotta run!

  Eating place is quiet

  Janey whispers

  No talkin’, just eatin’

  Bread looks horrible

  smells horrible

  My Granny makes good damper

  Wish I had some now

  Tears sting my eyes

  I push the bread away

  Other girls at the table

  stare hungrily at my bread

  Don’t want it, new girl?

  asks Janey

  I slide my bread to her

  she gobbles it down

  When eating is finished

  Janey says

  Thanks for the bread

  Me guts are always hungry!

  If I catch a fish

  I’ll share with you

  Honest!

  I’m not lyin’!

  I’m a good catcher for fish!

  Janey giggles

  Sometimes I say words

  like fish

  cake

  potatoes

  and pretend it makes me fat

  Got a lotta tricks like that

  Why can’t she be quiet?

  Why can’t she leave me alone?

  A grumpy lady gives me clothes

  same as the other kids

  It’s nearly lock-up

  she says

  I don’t have time

  to check your hair for nits

  Go with Janey

  she knows how things work here

  Janey takes me to the sleeping place

  Beds in rows

  girls everywhere

  Janey shouts

  Bed next to me is for the new girl!

  Other girls ignore her

  Janey yells

  Hey, you mob hear me?

  I’m claimin’ this bed!

  Bigger girl yells back

  Aw, shut up, Janey

  No one wants the stinky bed!

  Janey tugs the blanket

  This your bed now, new girl

  Margy used to sleep here

  but she got sent out to work

  I look at the bed

  Did Margy like this place?

  Another girl joins us

  Taller

  wider

  older

  She says

  You nor’wester or sou’wester?

  Janey steps closer

  New girl’s not talkin’, Nancy

  but I reckon she’s nor’wester

  Nancy frowns

  pokes out her bottom lip

  looks me up and down

  Yeah, nor’wester!

  Nancy clenches her fist

  shoves it close to my nose

  I don’t back away

  Will she hit me?

  Any trouble, see me, new girl

  She pokes Janey’s arm

  Janey’s sou’wester

  but she’s alright

  ’cept she talks too much!

  Nancy returns to her bed

  Janey whispers

  Most kids cry

  when Nancy does that

  She can hit hard

  You got guts!

  I sit on Margy’s bed

  Janey sits on her bed

  leans forward

  Nancy fights new kids

  if they big like her

  specially sou’westers

  But she’s good with kids our size

  Some sou’westers like fightin’ too

  but not me!

  Nancy’ll be going out to work soon

  ’cause she’s nearly fourteen

  Poor old Nancy

  she wants to be a film star

  Girls at the end of the room

  shout at each other

  Janey looks at them

  shrugs

  You get used to the noise

  If it’s a bad bust-up

  big girls will thump ’em both

  I slide under the blanket

  Around me

  girls I don’t know

  who aren’t sisters

  cousins

  aunties

  fight

  yell

  giggle

  cry

  cough

  I pull the blanket higher

  Janey slips off her bed

  leans over me

  You okay?

  Her mouth is smiley

  but her eyes are sad

  What your name?

  I dip my head under the blanket

  Shut Janey out

  Shut the shouting girls out

  It’s okay

  Janey says

  It’s okay to be scared, new girl

  My fingers cover my mouth

  I cry quiet beneath the blanket

  Someone shakes me

  Wake up, wake up!

  Come on, it’s mornin’

  I open my eyes

  wrinkle my nose

  Pooh this place stinks

  Toilet’s full

  Janey says

  Gets right up ya nose, huh?

  But boys’ place stinks worse!

  Glad I’m not a boy

  I squeeze my hands

  round my toes

  So cold

  it’s like there’s no blood in them

  Janey pinches my shoulder

  I fling out a slap

  but she ducks away

  giggling

  Not allowed to sleep in

  Freezin’ cold

  but ya gotta get up!

  Itchy bites dot my armr />
  Another girl teases

  Ha, ha!

  Mattress bugs got you good, new girl!

  Janey warns

  Scratch

  and ya bleed

  Worry for the cold

  and ya freeze

  Sleep in

  and ya get trouble

  Janey raises her eyebrows

  You want trouble?

  Course I don’t want trouble!

  I throw off the blanket

  Cold air hits me all over

  I wrap my arms round my body

  shiver my way outside

  Ship was cold

  Here is cold too

  And nowhere to hide

  Janey shoves a broom at me

  Sweepin’ gets ya blood pumpin’

  Runnin’ round is good as well

  But not till you finish sweepin’

  Who does she think she is

  bossing me?

  She lowers her voice

  You wet your bed?

  No!

  I am mad at her for asking

  She makes me feel shame

  It’s okay, new girl

  first night lotsa girls wet the bed

  or if they have a bad dream

  or if they hurtin’ inside

  or if they sick

  I wish she would shut up

  Listen, we all got mornin’ jobs

  I’ll make our beds

  You sweep hard

  warm up your insides

  Okay?

  I put my head down

  and sweep the verandah

  I think of Aunty Adie

  I helped her clean the Big House

  on the station

  Sweep the corners good

  she’d say

  or Boss will complain

  Sweep the corners real good

  Too sick to eat breakfast

  Not seasick

  Heartsick

  Janey elbows me

  If your guts growl in school

  Teacher will think you farted

  Teacher hates fartin’

  snortin’

  and laughin’

  So you better eat somethin’

  Girl on the other side

  of the table hisses

  Shut up, Janey!

  Get us in trouble

  with your talkin’!

  Gotta tell her stuff

  Janey hisses back

  She new here

  How she gunna know?

  Is Janey trying to help me?

  Janey whispers

  Teacher hates laughin’

  the worst

  If she thinks kids are laughin’ at her

  she explodes!

  I nibble horrible bread

  Bits drop on the table

  Janey licks her finger

  presses it to my crumbs

  The crumbs stick

  She licks them off

  I’m a good catcher for fish

  and a good catcher for bread, too!

  Outside again

  Janey says

  Hey — you ever been to school?

  School’s where kids learn stuff

  Maybe you’ll learn to talk!

  I turn away

  Aw, sorry, new girl

  Don’t talk

  I don’t care

  School’s borin’

  ’cept for stories and singin’

  We sing for important visitors

  when they come here

  Everythin’ gets cleaned up then

  Get better food, too

  My family sings

  All my aunties sing

  Mum sings the best

  She taught me lots of songs

  Nancy comes up

  spins me around

  Ay, new girl!

  Meet Emmy and Dot

  They nor’westers, too

  Emmy and Dot

  are bigger girls like Nancy

  Emmy has curly hair like mine

  Dot has a round face like Nancy

  They nod at me shyly

  Nancy says

  Nor’westers stick together

  Sou’westers stick together

  Got it?

  Janey elbows past Nancy

  Hey, I’m sou’wester

  and I got sou’wester and nor’wester friends!

  Nancy teases

  Ooh — prickly little sou’wester

  Emmy pokes Janey

  Dot laughs

  Nancy towers over Janey

  Mind ya own business, sou’wester!

  Janey puts her hands on her hips

  If I minded me own business

  you wouldn’t have any stuff …

  Shut up!

  Talk soft!

  You too cheeky, Janey!

  Nancy growls

  Blab about the stuff ya got us

  we all in trouble!

  Janey glances over her shoulder

  Sorry, Nancy

  Learn to shut ya trap, Janey!

  Rain drizzles down

  Janey grabs my hand

  Gotta run!

  Nor’westers and sou’westers

  run to school together

  School is a room filled

  with big kids

  in-between kids

  little kids

  Janey points to a neat lady

  standing

  stiff and straight at a table

  Her face is tight with watching

  That’s Teacher

  Boss of our school

  She’s not smiley

  We had two teachers before

  but the nice one left

  None of ’em stay long

  Nancy reckons

  this one’s still here

  ’cause no one else wants her!

  She can’t see nothin’

  without her glasses

  that’s why they tied

  round her neck with ribbon

  So kids can’t steal ’em!

  Boys did that once

  Got the strap bad!

  I sit between Janey and Nancy

  When everyone is quiet

  Teacher says

  A new girl has joined us today

  Is she talking about me?

  Her name is Annie

  I duck down

  Let my curls flop over my face

  Pretend I’m not here

  Say good morning to Annie

  Everyone says

  Good morning, Annie!

  My cheeks burn hot with the stares

  Janey whispers

  So that’s your name

  Annie

  I like it!

  I don’t

  I – am – not – Annie!

  Annie belongs

  to the government man

  and his lying government papers

  Tap – tap – tap

  Teacher’s stick hits my table

  Not a digging stick

  not a fighting stick

  for big trouble

  a skinny useless stick

  I see you are a quiet girl, Annie

  Nice to have a well-mannered

  child in my class

  Why does Teacher talk so loud?

  Everyone can hear

  what she says to me

  I burn with more stares

  In school you will learn

  to write your name

  and count to ten

  I will also teach you

  the days of the week

  and months of the year

  If you tell the truth

  pay attention

  work hard

  you will do well

  Do you understand, Annie?

  I glimpse Nancy nodding

  Reverend liked me to nod

  when he talked

  Is Teacher the same?

  I rub my hands on my dress

  and nod

  Teacher gives a sharp smile

  Very good, Annie!<
br />
  There is one more thing

  we only speak English here

  English is the language of kings

  She bends closer

  We never speak native gibberish

  Her glasses slide down her nose

  Not ever!

  She pushes her glasses back

  Janey will tell you what happens

  if you speak the native tongue

  Won’t you, Janey?

  Janey speaks so loud

  everyone hears

  You get whacked, Annie!

  Laughter spills out from the other kids

  Silence!

  Teacher snaps

  Her angry look sweeps the room

  No laughter now

  Teacher glares at Janey

  Janey lowers her head

  Bites her lip

  Not because she’s scared

  Because she’s trying not to smile

  I don’t think Janey likes Teacher

  Teacher sounds out a big word

  O – B – E – D – I – E – N – C – E

  Obedience

  is an important word

  If you do as you are told

  and respect your betters

  you will find a place in this world

  Teacher shows me a small word

  Cat is easy to say and spell, Annie

  c – a – t

  spells cat

  Can you say cat?

  Can you say c – a – t?

  Tap – Tap – Tap

  goes Teacher’s stick

  Pay attention, Annie!

  This is not walkabout time

  Don’t let your mind

  wander in the never-never!

  Slowly and loudly

  like I am deaf and stupid

  Teacher repeats

  Can you say c – a – t?

  I twist my hands together

  There’s too much english in this place

  english hurts my head

  english is hard on my tongue

  english is missing good words

  english is lonely

  I wish I could talk my language

  I wish I could talk to my mum

  Janey, does Annie understand English?

  Yes, Teacher

  This mornin’

  I told her to sweep

  and she swept real good!

  Janey shoots me a proud smile

  I see

  And does Annie speak?

  No, Teacher

  Teacher rolls her eyes

  Another backward child!

  Teacher keeps

  me and Janey after school

  She takes her glasses off

  wipes them with a cloth

  Glares at my hair

  Annie’s hair is like a bird’s nest

  Does she have nits, Janey?

  No, Teacher

  Hair was checked last night

  when she got clothes

  No nits

  Janey is a big liar

  The grumpy lady didn’t check my hair

  She said there wasn’t time

  Hmph

  says Teacher

  Annie looks too wild to be in school

  Help her comb her hair

  flatten it down

  This is not the bush!

  I don’t want flat hair like Teacher!

  And Janey

  make sure Annie

  does her after-school jobs properly

  If she doesn’t get them right