Sister Heart Page 3

  she must do them again

  The sooner she gets used to the routine here

  the better

  Yes, Teacher

  Outside

  Janey says

  You like school?

  Teacher hates my language

  Teacher hates my hair

  I can’t read

  I can’t write

  I shake my head

  Janey sighs

  Me neither

  I like writin’ stories and singin’ songs

  Sums make me brain hurt

  Everythin’ else makes me tired

  Come on, we got jobs!

  Doing jobs stops me

  thinking of home

  for a little bit

  Stops me wondering

  if Aunty Adie needs help

  cleaning the Big House

  now I am gone

  If Grandpa Mick is planting seeds

  in the station vegetable garden

  If little sister is crying for me

  If I’ll ever see Mum again

  Stops me missing everyone

  but only for a little bit

  When jobs are done

  Janey says

  If ya think about bad things

  ya feel badder

  How does she know I feel bad?

  Janey’s stomach grumbles

  I’m hungry

  Bet you are too

  You didn’t eat much

  breakfast or lunch

  It’s too soon for dinner

  Swallow your spit

  and pretend it’s juice

  from an apple

  Sometimes that helps

  Now

  you wanna help me

  find me little brother?

  He gets in trouble, Annie

  Mum would want me to help

  Little kids find trouble easy

  Little kids get lost easy

  I nod

  Janey smiles

  You got tough feet?

  She drops to the ground

  Grabs my bare foot

  I nearly fall over

  Yeah, your feet are tough

  No stone bruises for you

  Come on!

  The bush nearby smells damp

  fresh

  alive

  Birds swoop

  call out

  make nests

  sing

  Other kids yell

  Hey Janey, over here!

  Janey dodges them

  Gotta find Tim

  Make sure he’s okay

  We walk deeper into the bush

  lots of trees

  lots of bushes

  lots of hiding places

  It’s good to be outside

  Good to be away from school

  Good to stretch my legs

  Janey babbles

  Guess what Tim did once, Annie?

  Picked up a baby snake!

  Thought it was a stick

  Guess what else?

  Climbed a tree

  Fell down

  broke his leg!

  I said

  Why were you so high?

  He said

  I was bein’ a mudlark!

  Tim’s game for anythin’

  that’s why I have to find him

  Big sisters look after little brothers, huh?

  Tim isn’t lost

  and he hasn’t found trouble

  He is crouched behind a bush

  watching birds

  He looks like Janey

  Same sun-bright hair

  same fair skin

  Does Tim talk a lot too?

  You can tell we brother and sister

  Only Tim’s got more freckles

  Janey presses fingers to her cheeks

  See, I got the same spots!

  Tim whispers

  Ssh Janey

  I’m watchin’ a mudlark!

  My little sister likes

  to watch the animals

  In the early morning

  I take little sister to the creek

  We lie on a flat rock

  Watch kangaroos drink early

  Big sisters look after little sisters

  Janey pats my arm

  Aw — you sad, Annie?

  I didn’t want to cry

  but I am

  You cryin’ for your mummy and daddy?

  Your brothers and sisters?

  Your aunties and uncles?

  Your cousins?

  Your grannies?

  Tim hisses

  Be quiet you girls!

  Janey says

  You got a little brother, Annie?

  I shake my head

  You got a baby sister?

  I nod

  You missin’ her bad, huh?

  I cried when I came here

  They sent my cousins someplace else

  Thought I was alone

  till I saw Tim

  Knew he was my lost brother

  just knew it!

  Tim was a sick baby

  Mum took him to the hospital

  went back to get him

  He was gone!

  Where is he?

  Mum kept cryin’

  Where’s my boy?

  She was still cryin’ for Tim

  when they grabbed me

  Reckon she’s cryin’

  for both of us now

  Tim scowls at Janey

  Shifts further away

  Tim was a fat baby

  bein’ sick shrunk him

  He looks like a little fella

  but he’s only two years younger

  Janey pokes out her tongue at Tim

  Hey, you lucky to have me

  watchin’ out for you!

  Tim pulls a face

  New kids come every month, Annie

  Your little sister might come

  or your cousins

  Then you won’t be lonely

  I don’t want little sister to come here

  I want Mum to come

  and take me home

  The mudlark

  Tim was watching

  flaps its wings

  and takes to the air

  Tim leaps up

  Look what ya done, Janey

  with all your talkin’

  Sorry, Tim

  but Annie’s cryin’ for her family

  Can’t ya see?

  Tim is mad at Janey

  but he looks sorry for me

  Maybe school made her cry

  That why you cryin’, Annie?

  I shake my head

  The good teacher left

  She talked nice

  smelled nice

  and she didn’t shame kids

  but now we stuck with Knife-face

  she always

  tap, tap, tapping and

  whack, whack, whacking

  with her ruler

  ’cept when Janey stole it …

  That’s a secret, Tim!

  Anyway, that’s not why Annie’s cryin’

  Tim shrugs

  Janey buried Teacher’s ruler

  She won’t find it!

  Janey sighs

  Don’t matter

  she got a new one already!

  Badder one

  says Tim

  If she hits real hard

  the edge cuts

  Janey grabs my arm

  Listen, Annie

  Tim and me have a trick

  Sometimes we laugh

  when we’re sad

  Haa – haa – haa!

  laugh Janey and Tim

  I don’t smile

  but my tears stop

  Tim grabs a small stone

  from the ground

  looks at it closely

  Yep, it’s a good one

  He pushes the stone

  into my hand

  It’s a laughing stone, Annie

  If ya feel sad

  squeeze the stone<
br />
  and laugh

  Only don’t laugh in school!

  I was havin’ a sad day

  Pulled out me stone

  laughed

  Teacher said

  Are you laughing at me, Timothy?

  Are you a rude, stupid boy?

  Whacked me hard!

  Me and Tim

  got a crying tree, too

  Janey grabs my arm

  Come on

  I’ll show you

  Don’t come back

  Tim tells us

  You scare the birds

  Look, Annie

  magpies!

  They swoop

  if their nests got babies

  Janey halts

  Hey – there’s a kookaburra!

  I love their laugh

  Haa – haa – haa – haa!

  she sings out loudly

  Haa – haa – haa!

  Kookaburras make me happy!

  Janey picks up a stick

  makes marks in the sand

  A snake track

  She hands me the stick

  Your turn, Annie

  I make marks in the sand

  Janey looks at them

  Bet that’s a goanna!

  I nod

  Come on

  I’ll show you more things

  See those birds?

  Honeyeaters

  They hang upside down

  to get sweetness from the blossoms

  Maybe we’ll see a bobtail goanna

  They got blue tongues

  Their babies are born alive

  You know that?

  Watch out for redback spiders

  swingin’ from their webs!

  Red spot on their back

  means stay away!

  Give you a bad bite

  make you real sick

  Could kill a baby

  Careful where you walkin’

  Plenty of snakes here

  Dugites grow long as a man

  if you stretch ’em out

  Tiger snakes in the marsh

  got stripes

  Tigers are short and fat

  I reckon they meaner than dugites

  Once

  I dropped

  down from a tree

  landed on a snake

  Lucky it was dead!

  Dugites and tigers can kill you

  This time of the year

  they full of poison!

  Does Janey ever stop talking?

  Janey stoops down

  picks up bendy twigs

  Wanna surprise, Annie?

  She finds a sunlit patch

  Sits down

  I run my fingers through the sand

  dirt is dark

  bush is thick

  air is cold

  No melting heat here

  no days so hot

  you can taste the dust

  This place is not like home

  I could get lost here

  Janey’s fingers work fast

  She twists the twigs

  into a little person with arms

  and legs and everything

  Janey holds it up

  See, Annie

  a stick doll

  I’ve seen a real doll

  Visitors came to the station

  with a girl who carried a doll

  She carried it

  like I used to carry little sister

  when she was a new baby

  Doll had clothes and shoes

  and staring eyes

  Janey’s bush doll has no eyes

  but she feels smiley

  My fingers stroke

  the doll’s twiggy face

  Put her in your pocket, Annie

  Pretend she’s your little sister

  Ridin’ like a joey

  in her mummy’s pouch

  You wanna see the cryin’ tree now?

  Crying tree is a big old tree

  with branches stretching high

  and a snug hollow

  in the trunk

  Janey says

  Kids here got special places

  to cry

  This is me and Tim’s special place

  but you can share it with us

  At home I share

  with my cousin brothers

  and cousin sisters

  and they share with me

  Mum would like Janey sharing

  This is the tree Tim fell out of

  I thought he was dead

  till he screamed

  Some kids think this tree is unlucky

  but I reckon it’s a lucky tree

  Tim coulda cracked his neck

  or smashed his head

  All he got was bruises

  and a broke leg

  I stare up at the tree

  I know what she’s saying

  When little sister could walk

  she wandered away

  Mum found her

  sitting in the creek on a rock

  Little sister could have drowned

  All she got was scratches

  and a fright

  Janey bites her fingernail

  You think it’s unlucky?

  I slide into the hollow

  This tree is good and strong

  Janey grins

  slips in next to me

  Me friend Margy liked this tree, too

  Margy’s a sou’wester like me

  Reckon you’d like her

  Janey taps her head

  She’s real smart with schoolwork

  Poor Margy

  turned fourteen

  so they sent her out to work

  Now she’s stuck on a farm

  scrubbin’ dishes

  cookin’ food

  washin’ clothes

  cleanin’ floors

  No more readin’ and writin’ for her

  We sit inside the tree

  looking out at the bush

  watching birds

  insects

  lizards

  I can’t believe Janey is quiet

  Nancy lends Janey her comb

  to fix my hair

  Reckon those knots’ll take all night

  Give it back in the mornin’

  she says

  Janey runs her fingers down Nancy’s comb

  Nearly everyone here owes me favours

  ’cause I know how to get stuff

  If Janey pinched Teacher’s stick

  like Tim said

  she does know how to get stuff!

  Okay, Annie, sit on ya bed

  Promise I won’t stop

  till all the knots are gone

  When it gets dark

  I’ll feel ’em with me fingers

  Janey teases my hair out in little bits

  Nancy is right

  This will take a long time!

  Janey tries not to tug hard

  Margy used to do me hair

  If she was here

  she’d help us

  You know the jobs we do?

  Margy says

  it’s Domestic Training

  The jobs are practice

  for when we go into Service

  Lotsa people

  don’t wanna do their own jobs

  so they use us

  That’s Service

  When I turn fourteen

  I don’t wanna go into Service

  I wanna go home

  I want to go home too

  I want to go home right now!

  Sleeping place is cold

  but it gets colder

  and colder

  while Janey does my hair

  I’m shivering bad

  I huddle under the blanket

  I don’t feel the cold like you

  Janey says

  Got to be ice before I shiver

  Harder for nor’westers

  you used to more sun

  When you been here a long time

  your
blood’ll get thick

  then cold won’t be so bad

  Some of the other girls yell

  Shut up, Janey!

  We tryin’ to sleep

  We sick of your talkin’

  Shut ya trap!

  Janey grumbles

  Can talk if I wanna

  Janey whispers

  Listen, Annie

  I got to tell ya bad news

  You hopin’ your mum will come

  and get you, huh?

  I sit still as stone

  But she can’t come, Annie

  How does Janey know?

  She doesn’t know my mum

  Your mum wants to come

  Mums always miss kids

  But she dunno where you are

  and she dunno your new name

  Will your mum ask for Annie?

  My throat goes tight

  Mum doesn’t know anyone

  called Annie

  Policeman won’t tell her where you are

  Policeman won’t tell her your new name

  Janey is right

  Policeman who took me from the station

  won’t tell Mum anything

  Government people

  got lotsa secrets, Annie

  But I got me own secrets!

  I know stuff from before

  Know where me country is

  Know some of me language

  I don’t talk it here

  Got too many

  whacks round the earhole!

  Janey bends over

  gives me a secret smile

  I know me real name

  Mum didn’t call me Janey!

  My eyes widen in surprise

  Janey is a new name?

  If Janey is the same as me

  other girls must be the same too

  I didn’t know

  We lucky, Annie

  We not like the babies

  here in cots

  We not like Tim

  I had to tell Tim stuff

  about our family

  Dad’s tall like a gum tree

  Mum likes cuddles

  Granny Alice sings real sweet

  He didn’t remember nothin’

  Didn’t remember our country

  I had to tell him

  We ain’t whitefellas, Tim

  But you and me, Annie

  we old enough

  to remember lotsa things!

  I remember Mum’s silly songs

  Little sister’s bubbly laugh

  Granny Rosy cooking damper

  Grandpa Mick hungry for more

  Uncles getting kangaroo

  to fatten skinny rations

  All my aunties singing

  voices rising high on campfire smoke

  Running with my cousin sisters

  and cousin brothers

  dogs running too

  hot wind in our faces

  I remember

  the people I love

  who love me back

  I’m glad when my knots are done

  My head is full of Janey’s words

  full of thinking

  Janey cleans Nancy’s comb with her fingers

  Gives it a wipe on her dress

  This is a good comb

  Next comb I’m stealin’ for me

  Night, Annie

  I give her a moonlit smile

  Lie down on the bed

  wrap my blanket tight

  hold the laughing stone

  Tim gave me

  squeeze it